The end always hurts
by Forever Siriusly Sirius
Summary: The Dark Side challenge HPFC.Severus begs Lily for another chance, he needs her to understand that his life is with them now and he shows her his Dark Mark to prove it. The end they all knew would come was finally here. He felt his heart break and shatter into a million pieces. All he could think of was how much he loved her. She would never understand. Unrequited snily.


"Lily."

His voice was quiet but hoarse like he'd been crying. He was pleading for her to stay. She whipped around furiously, the hurt evident on her face.

"What Snape? What can you tell me that I don't already know? I should've listened to them. They all said you were no good but I was too blind to see it. What you did was unforgivable!" her sharp words cut though him like a knife.

He felt his heart crack at her harsh words and he winced. Her expression did not soften. He could feel the waves of anger and hurt radiating from her taut body, he could hear the malice that her eyes were screaming at him.

"I-" his calm resolve faltered. He took a pathetic breath and tried again."I need to show you something. This is why I can't change. Promise you won't judge me if I show it to you now?"

His pools of moonlight grey eyes looked up into her shining emerald ones, begging for forgiveness, for a chance. For anything really. He just wanted his Lily back.

'You have 30 seconds Snape before I call James in here to hex your scrawny arse to the next century.' she said, her steely tone giving nothing away.  
He flinched at the use of Potters first name. _Since when are they on a first name basis? __He_ wondered. Hurt filled him as he realized he'd been replaced.

Gingerly he rolled up his sleeve to reveal the cursed snake that pulsated with darkness on his left forearm. He heard her gasp of horror as she realized what he'd done, what he'd become. He winced internally at her reaction but she held no pity in her fiery gaze.

She choked back sobs as she took in the fact that her former best friend; the man she'd trusted with all her secrets, with her life, had become a death eater.  
She always knew that he had a fascination for the Dark Arts but she never thought he would ever join the cause that lived to eradicate her kind. Muggleborns.

She was frozen in horror as she shivered violently, staring at the monstrosity that defaced his pale skin. She could feel the evil that was emitted and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her best friend.  
She forced herself to look into the eyes of the man who had stood by her side since she was a little girl. The man who had taught her about magic and Hogwarts and introduced her to the wonderful world of wizards. He had comforted her when he sister deserted her somehow making it seem better.  
James had been right all along. Severus Snape was a Death Eater. He had the Dark Mark. He would go on missions and spy and kill and torture all in the name of Lord Voldemort.

She couldn't help the tears that leaked out of her distraught eyes at the sight of the proud man hunched over with shame. A very small part of her died that day. Severus Snape was cut out of her heart. She could no longer be friends with somebody who stood for anti-muggle principles.  
In his eyes she saw no regret as to the choice he made, but rather regret at losing Lily. She saw tears of shame burn his cheeks as they trickled down, no longer having the fight to hide them.

'Lily-'

'Save it Snape. You're just as bad as the rest of them! As Avery and Mulciber and Malfoy. You chose your path a long time ago. This friendship ended when you called me a Mudblood. We died the second you felt the burn of ink on your skin. You chose your path and I chose mine. I hope you die in hell Snape. I really really do.'

Her beautiful voice broke on the last word as spoke. All those years of defending him, of putting up with his Dark Arts obsession, all those years of an impossible friendship only to end like this.

He looked down at the glowing red eyes of the skull and he saw the cruel body of the snake being disgustingly ingested into the black abyss of the mouth. He did not regret his choice. No, not even Lily, his precious Lily, could keep him from the one place where he was accepted, the place where he was the bully and not the victim. The place that could cleanse the world of the those traitors like Black and Potter and muggles and muggleborns. The world would once more be pure.

He watched hypnotized with grief and anguish as Lily gave him one last look of disgust and pity and worst of all hate- emotions that looked so out of place coming from her usually sweet eyes- before spinning around with a swish of her fiery mane of brilliant red curls and leaving his life forever.

He watched the way her hips swung from side to side as she walked gracefully, head held high, down the dark corridors. He watched as the enchanted lily he had given her back in first year as a symbol of their friendship fell to the floor with a quiet thump.

That was the last straw for him and he collapsed to his knees, sobs wracking every inch of his body. The tears flowed freely as his heart bled and tried unsuccessfully to stitch back together the million shattered pieces that was all she left behind, as she apparated into the waiting arms of her new love, into the arms of James Potter.  
He was down and he had been kicked like a dog. It was the worst blow anyone could ever hurt him with. She had chosen blood-traitor Potter over him. And it hurt.

He cried for the loss of the only person who had truly cared for him, his heart bled for the one person he had truly cared for. The crystals that fell that night forever stained the ground with the memories of where it all ended.

The pain was unbearable. He had never felt so much misery in his entire short life. He had never felt this alone. Fire burned though his veins as he contemplated what it would be like to sleep and never wake up.  
The blackness that was his soul overtook him. The last thing he cried before falling into a deep sleep full of pain and anguish was 'I'm sorry'.

* * *

A/N I nearly cried while writing this. Did any of you pick up on the tragicness of this scene? Please tell me what you think! Written for the HPFC dark side: I do not own Harry Potter - JKR does, but I am very very jealous.  
Please read my other one-shots and stories and review! It means so much to me.


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